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emilyava
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Interests: I love so much! reading Dickenson, Ranier, Whitman among others, travel- especially East Africa, salsa dancing- okay all dancing!, politics, ethiopian food, music- Miles Davis, Billy Holiday, Damien Rice, U2 (the list continues), coffee and long talks, walking/running (but walking much more than running- also known as "rocking") piano, photography, writing and oh so much more
Expertise: I'd say my expertise is being pretty mediocre at a lot of things! I am good at laughing and being laughed at (mostly for stupid things i do)
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/17/2005
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| I don't know about this whole online journal thing, but maybe it
will be good. There is something about writing that is easier
than talking...
I have been so tired lately- tired emotionally, spiritually,
physically- just tired. I am seem to be stuck in a "cloud of
unknowing," unable to clearly define what this means except that I just
plain do not know. I do not know what I believe right now, or if
I believe dare I say it? Yet for all my doubts, for all my
unknowing, skepticism, questions and cynicism, for all my wanting to
let go, sometthing won't let me go.
Reflections on the last few months:
I think it became easier to stop searching for the "something more" I
felt God was drawing me towards. I no longer believe in the god
of black and white, but all the gray area is hard to live
in. Maybe this process that has me so broken and angry is one
that will break me until I reach peace. So I begin the search
again, even though it feels lonley, because ultimately I want to be
real.
"Christianity is restlessness, the restlessness of the eternal" Kierkegaard
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